Hi Dad,
Tomorrow it will be exactly a year ago……
This week I had a flashback of my first day here in Bellwald last year. Nout and I were having dinner on the balcony when all telephones started ringing. You went Home in peace. An indescribable shake went through my body, there was unbelieve in my mind. This could not be true, I had called mum just an hour before and everything was allright. It was a normal day, all was ok. And suddenly you left. Well, that’s how life goes. One moment you are still here and then you are unseen, in a different reality.
A year has gone by, a hectic year in all aspects: in the world, in my world, in my innermost world ect…. I also noticed how many worlds exist on Earth. Worlds of differences in communication with loved ones. Worlds of believes on Earth. Worlds of opposites inside me. The world of my soul opposed to the world of my ego, my personality with all her conditioning. Differences in the world of spirituality, on how to deal with your thoughts, emotions, old programming. Some say they are passing clouds and another say stay with them, embrace them and doing so they will go. And yet Dad, we all must follow our own path, don’t we?

Yes Bon, and sometimes your path goes a different way then you had expected, or it’s time to go a different path. All is well, everything is subject to change, everybody has his own world. As I pointed out in the last conversation: take life as it comes, all of it…and be present in your heart, not in your head.

Dad, that beautiful message from Anastasia ( Anastasia – The Ringing Ceders – Vladimir Megre), that we have reached the turning point and that more people now have a positive outlook on Earth and her future so we have reached the critical point. I have read many of her books and read about her unique power to manifest. I know that you talk about it a lot and that we should become conscious about that. There are a lot of contradictory messages about Anastasia. What is real?

“Dear Bon, as you know you feel conflicting messages yourself. The messages of your critical mind and the messages from your heart. That’s what happens in the world also and yes, by doing so you create different worlds on the same planet. She has a truly strong power to transform  ignorance and darkness into knowledge and light. There are more people like her on Earth who are here to balance the energies. There are people who have the power to manifest alone as would 100.000 people together. It all depends on whether you train yourself in it and on keeping your focus in the process of creation.
I am with you more often these days and I feel the connection with each of you. Do not be afraid of conflicts in the family, the family needs to find a new balance, but so does everyone for themselves. It’s called growth.”

Yes Dad, that’s how I feel too. No, I am not afraid of changes or conflicts, sometimes I even like it. I don’t always want to be compassionate or tolerant. Sometimes I just want to kick against it all;  kick at holiness, at people’s opinions, my own opinions and small minded thoughts. Sometimes anger and being in opposition just feels good. And sometimes it is necessary.

“Well Bon, I am not going to tell you that you cannot do that, for I did the same. Sometimes I needed the anger to feel my own power. Sometimes I needed anger to proceed. And sometimes my anger was unnecessary and destructive. But if you would know all this in advance then you would not incarnate on Earth.”

I know I am jumping all over the place …but the message from  Anastasia that we have reached the turning point is that right?

“Yes Bon and when you feel with your heart you already knew it. Like you know also that not everything will be solved, but that many wrong things and ignorance become more obvious. Just as you know that fear is being used to control you. And as you know that we are stronger together and that the time has come to hold on to each other in the coming process. Exiting, renewable and on the way to the truth. Don’t let yourself be fooled by messages of fear or so-called security. For a long time now you have known in what time you came to Earth, like all these readers here know too. And all of you can feel the reassurance and trust in your heart, because that is where the real information lies. This is also the time Bon, that you have to take care very well of yourself. Care for your body, heart and spirit. Lots of rest, lots of silence and time to feel and think about what is really good for you. Don’t just live, live consciously. You will notice that it’s necessary to keep your nervous system and your hearts frequency at ease. In the frequencies of gratitude and trust.”

Dad, suddenly I feel so many emotions going through me. Sadness, mourning, loss, rebellion, powerless….

“Yes, and it’s all part of the process. Tell Mum that she does not have to go through this alone. Right now connecting with us will help her like it will help anyone in this process of loss and grief. You yourself have noticed that connecting with the Divine, the unseen and us here will help you to put things in perspective. And you open up your heart so we can let you experience the waves of rest and peace.”

Yes, for sure that helps me. Every time I threaten to be unbalanced by something here in the world, the unseen brings me back in balance. What I find  very special also Dad, is the book by Etty Hillesum,  Disrupted Live. So special how she describes that the person has to learn to suffer……not putting it aside but feeling it, living through it. She knows that eventually she will be transported to a concentration camp and she has to say goodbye to the so normal rights of human beings each day. She is not allowed to ride her bicycle anymore, to go to the park or to use the tram. Slowly destiny  closes in around her and she knows it. Here is a piece from her book:
“And now there seems to be this new law that Jews are no longer allowed in vegetable shops anymore, and that their bicycles are confiscated; and no more trams for us; and  after eight in the evening staying inside. When I feel depressed about these  sanctions, like this morning, when they seem to hang over me like a lead blanket threatening to suffocate me, then that’s not really about the sanctions. Then there is  only that huge sadness inside me and this sadness  is looking for a reason to prove itself. And an unholy lesson, one that I should be given, brings so much fear and claustrophobia as the worst sanctions of our occupiers. It’s never the  things from the outside, it’s always the feeling  in me, depressed, insecure or whatever, that gives the outer things sadness or a threatening appearance. For me it always works from the inside out, never from outside in. Mostly, the most threatening sanctions—and there are many these days—they are slain by my own inner confidence and trust; and, worked on inside myself, they lose a lot of their threat.”

“Special isn’t it Bon, to resist all those horrors, but now, in this time, also the temptations of life. To keep seeing the realness of it. It’s not easy but necessary to connect yourself with eternity or  mortality will swallow you, in your resistance to irrevocably letting go…”
Beautifully said Dad, philosophical. Strange though, tomorrow it will be exactly one year ago and I have this  sudden feeling, so strong, to congratulate you with your 1st birthday there at Home. What I still cannot comprehend is, that while I see people here mourning because they miss their loved ones, I also feel how beautiful your life there is. Somehow maybe we want to hear that you also find it hard. As Mum says: we have to deal with the aftermath in our own way….
“The process of growth and development keeps going on forever.  The big advantage that we have here is that Love is such a presence in life and in existence. On Earth you really have to do your utmost best to experience that love in you. It is useless to compare Bon, what is useful is to connect  and to broaden your view in the unseen field so that it can be seen and felt. I feel enormous pride and love for each of you and for what you are doing, thinking and manifesting. Of course, sometimes there are some faults in the weaving,  but when you turn the tapestry upside down you see the whole picture and that’s wonderful, believe me.”

Thank you Dad, and congratulations on your 1st birthday there.

“Thank you Bon.”