Sorry Dad, I couldn’t write last week. Not even on your birthday. This flu I had, was quite stubborn , I haven’t been sick like that in years. And oh, how much trouble do I have with surrender. Even to the flu.… It is a pattern in my whole life; while you told me lately the plan would unfold itself, I am too impatient and then I start trying to force things.
Today I saw a beautiful image of the path I am meant to go. Sometimes the road will bend and take a little detour, but I am headstrong and go straight ahead, because I think that is the fastest way to reach my goal. And then of course I end up in the river, almost drowning. I go under in the strong currents, and inside me there is a storm of thoughts. If only I would have followed the path and its detour, I would have reached a bridge a little further down the road. And I would have come across a bench, to rest a little from the journey, to think things over, to contemplate. In that case I wouldn’t run like an idiot, run straight into the river and almost drown…..So Dad, I have to learn to think better, be more patient, use my common sense. But no, I choose to be impatient, and I didn’t think at all. So I ended up in the river…..

Haha, my sweet Bon, so funny that we warn you and nevertheless you run straight ahead. But you know, almost drowning will also benefit you. For you will feel the movements around you, you’ll learn from it and you will understand. And it will show you that following your path isn’t as easy as it seems. To follow the path of love instead of running straight ahead to avoid fear. Should you go to the right, no cut offs, and follow the path, you would find several benches for rest and contemplation. On the first bench you can be quiet for a while, just sit and really feel what the path can give you. It will ask for your trust, not to hurry but to be in the moment and enjoy the here and now.
Then you move on to the next bench. There also you sit down for a while, you face your fears, you think of the dangers and challenges you might encounter. Like the river with its strong currents…. This is an important bench, for it is a peaceful place where you see your fears for what they really are; something your mind makes up. Should you take the shortcut, you don’t have the opportunity to consider your fear and then it will overwhelm you like the river did, taking you places you didn’t want to go.
After this bench you will see the bridge that crosses the river. You realize you are being carried, taken care of on this magical path. It is the path of love and trust and it will give you exactly what you need to reach your goal. And along the way you come across beautiful places, a forest which filters the light of the sun, leaves dancing in the wind, a little stream with the clearest water you’ve ever seen. And you walk on a carpet of beautiful, soft moss in all shades of green. Places to rest, lovely benches, people that will give you keys to unlock doors you’ll find on your way. Keys of power, courage, love. Why should you not want to experience all of this, why take the shortcut? What is the point?

I agree Dad, and I really don’t understand why I have that stupid need to wanting to know all in advance. But I do! In some strange way it seduces me. It is like wanting to know your future and visit a fortune-teller. But I admit I shouldn’t want to know. Like if you know what will happen, it is some kind of reassurance. Which of course it isn’t. Like a need for safety.

Just what I told you about fear Bon, it will form your thoughts, will make you rush into stuff and will make you drown in the currents of the river. Fear will never give you the fulfilment of life, the people you will meet and the events that will happen on the path. So as you see Bon, the goal is the path itself. And the beauty of it is that when on the path of love and trust, all is effortless, you will feel all the help you get and you will be able to enjoy whatever occurs.
Yes Bon, I hear you thinking: not everyone’s path is so enjoyable. That is right Bon, some are unconsciously seduced to walk only on the path of fear.

Got that Dad! Say, what exactly are the rivers we can fall into?

The 7 currents of fear. Mind you, they are mentally constructed, not real. But the 7 currents are:

1.    Fear of separation. Separation is a mental construction. It doesn’t really exist, but it can be very real for someone. Separation makes us feel lonely and scared, not connected, not important. We feel this because we came to Earth and have forgotten our source, where we came from. We are separated by ignorance. And this illusion of separateness makes us feel as if we have failed and the world has failed us.
2.    Fear of rejection. Because of the feeling of separation we are scared of rejection, and we can feel rejected by others ánd by ourselves. And through that we feel the deep feeling of not being good enough, again a mental construction, but still real.
3.    Fear of the unknown. Separation and rejection will keep us believing in all that we are taught -instead of what we already knew- and will make us afraid of what we don’t know. We are in need of safety, security, connection. And therefore we want to know what the future will bring us.
4.    Fear to do wrong. We are afraid to say, do, feel what we think is wrong. Self-rejection is the outcome of this behaviour. One can stay in one place endlessly, not knowing the right way to choose, while we have forgotten that there is no wrong way to choose.

And here are the even more interesting fears:
5.    Fear of greatness. We mentally have taught ourselves this ‘what if….’ What if you would really believe in your greatness and would shine? Scary thought…. So therefore we stay small.
6.    Fear of truth. Again, what if? What if it’s true; that we are all great, that we are never separated, that we will never be rejected? It sounds beautiful, but our fear of this truth is bigger. What if our carefully built system of thoughts would not be correct… even if thinking in that way makes us small, so much smaller than we are in reality.
7.    Fear of love. Love is such an overwhelming power, so deep inside yourself. It makes you realize how much you sometimes hurt yourself. And the fear of being loved by someone else, someone who lights up all your dark sides, so that you can no longer hide yourself. Love bigger than you are. And all of the above mentioned fears make us afraid of love, because we simply cannot believe that we are worthy of such love without somehow having to earn it. And we are afraid of love out of fear of rejection….. I can go on and on about this subject, but I will have to do that later, ok?

Funny Dad, I so wanna nót agree with all this. I want to enhance it, make it better, change it… As if it’s not quite right…

Yes Bon, ‘cause what if you were wrong, if you would be rejected or your words would be denied.

Haha Dad, I got it.  So exactly this fear of doing wrong made it seem not right. Haha, got it wrong therefore… I feel kind of stupid… Last question; did you celebrate your birthday over there?

Oh yes we did Bon, big time. Lots of light and love. But I didn’t turn 82, but 38. A vital, shining, light body. A supple, free mind. And a heart that flows, creates and is completely present. Like a shower of love washing over me, and a moment to create a new path for myself. 

So you say, the path I go, I create myself, whether it is a path of love or of fear.

Exactly Bon, and you can recreate it every day.

Nice Dad, and thank you so much for all your lovely inspirations on my path.

Liefde is de vlam die de ziel doet ontvlammen

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De locatie is bovendien prachtig en er wordt heerlijk vegetarisch voor je gekookt.
Voor mij zijn er tijdens deze retraite werelden geopend waar ik het bestaan niet van wist. En ik dacht dat ik al veel had ervaren.

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